Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Suicide

I'm sure most people haven't heard about it, but there was a CC freshman who committed suicide this weekend. Some of the girls on my hallway were friends with him, but I'd never met him. Don't exactly no how to feel about it, they keep sending us emails about how much he was enjoying life at Columbia, etc... I just kind of feel like I'm being lied to about it and I'm not sure why. Or maybe that's what the family was telling themselves to feel better about it, or maybe it was true.
In any case, just thought I should address it, I guess. It's weird because I'm sure I've bumped into him at least once in all of the time I've been here, and I guess in some way I should feel connected to him, but really it doesn't feel like an event that took place in my life or my community--it seems to surreal or something.
Anyhow, I'm up programming (when am I not)... Questioning my life plan. As always. I'm now thinking I might want to go into infant and early-childhood development, maybe work in another country, or with at-risk parents or something.
I don't know if I could feel fulfilled working computer programming, but I guess someone's gotta do it. And maybe I'll love it when I get into the more serious stuff, but it's just so hard to tell because the work I would be doing would probably just be on an entirely different field from the work I'm doing now and...
I don't know.
To many "..."s.
The point being, I want to live in India when I grow up.

Ugh this was a stupid random post, but whatevs. If anyone has any wisdom to share on the subject of undergrad majors--please do.
Love you all.

3 comments:

Christian Asplund said...

okay, i'm trying to cut back on the advice i give to people, but since you asked. . .

how about setting up some informational interviews with a couple of people in the fields you're interested in and/or doing some shadowing of them at work? also, trying to get an internship this summer in one of your fields of interest might be helpful as well.

here's my existentialist advice: in some sense i think it doesn't matter what you choose as much as that you choose, and then make something of it. even making the wrong choice can help you find the right path. so, to wit, make a decision, stick with it, try to make it work with all your might and then see where it takes you.

that's it. i'll shut up about it now.

love you!

Mama

eliza.e.campbell said...

I read about that. Sad.

You should become a programmer of a mothering program that . . . nurtures people. What?

Eva said...

I love how you're an existentialist. You know those poems that you wrote when we went to NY the first time? Do you have copies of those that you could send to me? I'm thinking I might use them in my Milton pape.